In this video, we learn how to level up our mindset from a 3head to a 5head.
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 – Preview
00:25 – Introduction
06:02 – Behaviorism
09:51 – Acceptance
12:50 – Defusion
16:50 – Operating with a tranquil mind
18:52 – Self as context
21:52 – Questioning your experiences
23:56 – Narcissism
28:58 – Why go to therapy?
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dont try to change the ephemeral fluctuations of your brain and look at yourself the way you would look as someone else.
This still brings up one question in my mind, while you are diffusing, what do you do? actively ignore it or passively let it run out of steam in the back of your head?
all i wanted to be was a 3.5 head
Anyone know if there is a video talking more about acceptance???
Who the heck calls a person a "3head"? Let alone a "5head"? Is this some gen Z or gen Alpha sh*t?
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings obliteration. I will face my fear and I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Is it possible that narcissists are all dark empaths and that it's because of they assume that the layers of thoughts that they have prior to acting is something that they simply believe everyone has/ should have?
This somehow reminds me of the Face -> Accept -> Float -> Let Time Pass method by Claire Weekes (after a quick google search, seems like CBT is partly rooted in her works). Highly recommend checking it out for anyone interested.
Being someone who has adhd and hearing is like music to my ears. I am very fascinated about how our brain works and how we can better optimize it. I have been working on the first and second. The third is were i am having trouble but i know in time i will get it. Great vid
5head video ❤
Aww man, I only have 1 head!
17:10 Ayo editor, take some good rest xD
The last thing you need for starting a cult (after the 3-4-5 levelling) is to find a common enemy :DD
One of the most helpful videos I’ve seen as of yet. And the way it is communicated, covering so many interesting topics in an easy to approach way, wow.
Thank you Dr K
I just realized I became addicted to certain thoughts and emotions. I had to detach from those things through meditation and visualization. 😂
As someone who once had super bad anxiety.
Yes acceptance and just facing it , doing it
Even if it fails , even if it goes wrong
It helps alot
24:00 narcissists can be better by perspective change teaching
25:58 how to get better
So…. Say… Let's use the break up as an example…what if you are bouncing between the two. "3head," and, "5 head."… You consistently have the thought of "whoa is me, I'm going to be alone forever. What more could I have done.. Yada Yada Yada."…. But you're able to tell yourself (almost immediately after the 3head thought) that that is just a story you made up in your head and that it's not the truth. And that it sucked but it was a learning experience… But you are almost constantly ruminating in that thought process loop. Is this being a Christian Slater? Get it, a 4head? Because Slater has a giant forehead… 🤣… I'll be here all night folks
Starts at 10:00
Doctor K., I have been following you for a while now and I can't even describe how much you have helped me. But, I just wanted to let you know (as a constructive comment, just because I know how good you are – otherwise I woudn't even bother to write this comment) that I actually preferred your previous style – I mean a more neutral background, a more chilled vibe, yor face in the thumbnail, etc. I feel like this very well thought and professional style, paradoxically, kinda makes you look like everyone else, even like the so-called "gurus".
Just a thought, hope it can help you. Thank you for everything you are doing ❤
Oi! Desculpe, mas não falo inglês, então terei que escrever isso em português: valeu, doctor k! Seu trabalho vale ouro e realmente me ajuda muito. Abraços do Brasil.
Read Determined by Robert Sopolsky and then remember it’s not your fault, but it’s your responsibility.
this is his best video no lie
😂 I just phoned 911, because my body is breaking down, and they refused to send an ambulance, haha! OMG I’m gonna rip island health a new one. They have no clue, and they are still blacklisting me? What a day!
Just some notes I wrote for myself:
3 Head approach:
Behaviourism, looking at the actions to judge and change behaviour.
4 head approach:
Looking at the emotions and thoughts behind actions to judge and change behaviour.
5 head approach:
– Acceptance of whatever you are trying to avoid. Acceptance of thoughts/emotions that cause us to avoid something that we are trying to do allows us to avoid avoidance behaviour.
– Diffusion:
Understanding that your emotions will change with time. If you are struggling with some emotions right now, there is a chance that this issue will resolve itself with time; your mind processes emotions by itself. This does not mean that you should not try to work on your problems or emotions; it just simply implies that we do not have to immediately put our efforts into dealing with every problem that arises; some of them will resolve themselves.
We can cut some slack to ourselves; you don’t have to fix everything in your mind.
– Regarding self as context.
Regarding inner experience as a context to experience.
Attitude and mindset, the way you judge your thoughts and emotions, are even more meta than thoughts and emotions.
Example:
When someone breaks up, the behaviour is the same(not seeing the person), and the emotions are the same(sadness), but the attitude determines how this experience will affect them.
💀
thanks Doc…. I hope I'll be a six head soon
No hate here, but most of the time you talk way too fast in your videos. The content of what you are saying gets overflowed inside my brain. Can’t keep up normally like a normal conversation, it sounds like most of the time you need to catch a train in an hour.
The "acceptance is the antidote to avoidance" really is thing an incredible piece of wisdom. Thank you for that!
Dr k’s videos are so dense and interesting and get my mind going so fast that i paused the video and i thiught i was 15 minutes in but i was only 4 minutes in
@healthygamergg
Can you make an episode on the psychology of "never feeling satisfied"
Description:
The feeling of being impressed with others accomplishments, but not feeling special when you do it.
The constant feeling of questioning decisions: example "am I making the right decision? Will I regret this. Will i regret staying? Will I regret leaving?"
Etc – please add to this suggestion
This video is exactly what I needed at this moment. It correlates with a lot of things I've been recently learning about the nature of thoughts, emotions and suffering. It'd be cool if ut was a bit more practical tho, further explaining how one goes about accepting, diffusing, etc.
Going through a breakup right now and I keep telling myself whenever I feel sad that it’s normal and it will pass.
12:20 I've never actually gotten this strategy to work for that specific scenario. My 6 year old twins would rather fight to the death than take a shot or get their nails clipped or eat something that they like but when they want something else. TO. THE. DEATH. Ain't no hill too small.
Thank the universe for Dr. K
Ye but after everything is solved, and the content is in the web, we wont have job anymore, to teach anyone, or make business, or even speak about anyhting, the "life game" becames more zero summed ,how are we evolving to? If we have everything, we have nothing left. Who is gonna know all of this information, and what we do with this? Isnt life all about learning, and family, and making food, and fuck up your time with something random? There will be random generated content or what? At some point genetic diversity will kick us back, we have to restore the original life after reaching interstellar level at some point.
Also I would argue with that, childs mirrors parents usually, but maybe they dont do that the parents tell them to do and how to, my parents had degree's, and my Dad loved theorical physics and I would do / love it also for myself, so basically its true.
Ok I think the root of the problem is the race of each other, if something come up with a new thing and its his "success", than its the new rule and the complexit of life has changed, its life entropy in the universe. So how do I solve this mentally? EASY, I dont give a fuck about anything, my ego clear, mind clear, I focus on fundamentals first, survival, connections, reproduction, maybe family. Than you can do something if you want, BUT THE PROBLEM IS, if you do something than, others cant do it, if you would do everything, than you dont left anything for the others, you have to keep in mind, there will be humans on earth after 100 and more 1000 years and next generations, keep thinking / do wisely when you wanna change the world or do something exceptionally than others. Do you guys even think sometime or negatively thinking? Thats why you negatively thinking and criticise others, because you cant accept the fact that theyr better. When noone is better, its called zero sum game, who is gonna make food to the table in the first place?
So I would call this apocalypse level of human evolution.
17:06 bookmark
20:20
you think you just fell out of a coconut tree? 🌴 🥥
you exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you ☺️⏱️
26:00
Dr. K. I love your videos and I listen to your content in the background every day while I'm working. I just have a suggestion. as your microphone is so close to your mouth, every time you drink something or swallow, I just want to kick the screen. :(
Dang it, I wish I wasn't on benzos so that I can actually listen to this , sounds hella interesting
My summary of this video
1. Let go of the results (Accept all consequences either they're good or bad + help you not running away from the bad)
2. Let go of your thoughts & emotions (they won't affect you as much as you think they would + help you not running away from the bad & keep you calm when taking actions)
3. change the way you percieve at experiences to help you improve (this can help you motivated to take actions)
Theses point help you take the right actions more
instead of running away & keeping you motivated to take actions again
= getting better and better
Not being able to recognize that one's own attitude could very well be argued to be the core and crux of an issue like anxious depression. It definitely was for me. Yes, I was doing it, it was what I did, and a lot of why I did it was my attitude. It's my responsibility and task as a person to think of how I feel, think and act and how it influences not just myself, but everyone around me and even nature, and so on, and then do something about maladaptations or whatever you want to name them. A friend of mine told to me something very deeply hurtful and upsetting during one of my worst moments: "Take a good fucking look at your own behavior and then think again why your life is shit." It kept echoing in my head for years, and I'm very happy it did and I wasn't prevented by fear or something egotistical and truly difficult like that to try to figure out as to what he meant. He was right, to a very large extent. My mom also tried to make me see that it really is a lot in my attitude during those years. She was right, too, it was. Ironically enough, getting to talk about MY problems and MY pains and MY this and MY that to the people in my life can feel so good when you truly have real pains and so on, but it's easy to get dependent on that and never actually move forward to the stage of realizing that "ah shit, I'm a nihilistic, apathetic cynical fucking self-absorbed jerk who makes everybody fucking miserable and exhausted"… and the cost is one's relationships, and probably a lot more than that, too. Just thinking and talking about all the problems all the time was not the solution at all, it was – eventually at least, of course thinking and talking about those things are an important part of growth – ironically enough a big part of the problem. It's alright, we're all just humans, it's not so serious after all. We're all kinda screwed up, and that's okay. What shall we do about all of that, hm? Feels incredible to be free from myself, I've got to say. Anxiety and depression in bothersome quantities are now like water that flowed underneath a bridge 4 years ago.
True, because instinct are the enemy.
you are right Dr K, Mental health is an all time high in the US. That's why so many people are joining the ABC group to feel like they belong somewhere.